A number of loose electric wires are hanging from a lamp post near the main gate of your school. Write a letter to the Municipal Commissioner explaining the problem, the danger it poses and suggest a quick solution.

MODEL ANSWER

St. Xavier’s High School 14, Lake View Road Kolkata 700029

10 March 2017

The Municipal Commissioner Kolkata Municipal Corporation 5, S.N. Banerjee Road Kolkata 700013

Subject: Loose electric wires hanging from the lamp post outside our school gate

Sir,

I write on behalf of the students of St. Xavier’s High School to draw your urgent attention to a number of loose electric wires hanging from the lamp post immediately outside our main gate.

The wires have come loose from the junction box on the pole and hang down to a height of about five feet, directly over the pavement. Two of them are bare at the ends. The pole stands at the exact point where some nine hundred students pass twice a day, and where parents’ cars and school buses draw up.

The danger is immediate and serious. A child of the junior school brushing against a live wire could be electrocuted. The risk is far greater in the monsoon, when the pavement floods to ankle depth and the water would carry the current across the whole area. Two weeks ago a student of Class VIII touched a wire with his umbrella and received a shock; he was fortunate to escape with a burnt hand.

May I respectfully suggest the following:

1. As an immediate measure, the wires may be disconnected at the junction box and the area barricaded, which could be done within a day.
2. The wires may then be properly insulated and secured inside a sealed box, well above reach.
3. The lamp posts along the school stretch may be inspected, as we believe this is not the only one in poor repair.

Since the matter concerns the safety of children, I request that it be attended to before the school reopens on Monday.

Thanking you,

Yours faithfully, Ria Sen (Head Girl, St. Xavier’s High School)

WHAT THIS QUESTION SPECIFICALLY REQUIRES

THREE tasks, and content marks are counted against all three:

1. EXPLAIN THE PROBLEM — what is wrong, precisely
2. THE DANGER IT POSES — a separate task, and the heart of this letter
3. SUGGEST A QUICK SOLUTION

Note the word QUICK in the third task. It asks for something that can be done AT ONCE, so the first suggestion should be an immediate safety measure — disconnect and barricade — with the permanent repair following. A letter proposing only a long-term solution has missed the word.

THE DANGER SECTION is where marks are won. Be specific about WHO is at risk and WHEN: nine hundred children passing twice a day, and the monsoon making it far worse. One concrete incident, as here, is worth three paragraphs of general alarm.

REGISTER: urgent but courteous. Urgency comes from the facts, not from exclamation marks. FORMAT AND MARKS DIVISION: see the Formal Letter and Informal Letter references in the Writing Formats & Marking (Reference) chapter.

USE THIS AS A MODEL, NOT AS AN ANSWER TO MEMORISE. The question asks for an ORIGINAL composition, and every year examiners identify scripts reproduced from guide books; a memorised answer can be penalised for plagiarism and will in any case read as borrowed. Study this piece for its STRUCTURE — how it opens, how the paragraphs are ordered, where the required tasks are answered, how it ends — and then write your own, about your own school, your own family, your own town. Your own specific detail is worth more marks than anyone else’s polished sentence.